To a mother on the neonatal unit history anoxic brain injury icd 10

I am a mother of twin girls. Charlotte is my surviving twin. Charlotte’s (twin 1) waters went at 24 weeks pregnant and I spent the next seventeen days on the antenatal ward in leeds general infirmary. At 26 weeks pregnant I was rushed into theatre, when charlotte and I caught an infection and her heart rate plummeted. She was born extremely poorly and we lived many days by the hour. Esme was born trying to breathe by herself. Hypoxic brain injury treatment in india for many weeks, esme was the strongest twin. However at seven weeks old and after a week of battling with meningitis and ventriculitis, she was left with no quality of life. The kindest, most hardest decision was to take her off the ventilation. She was with us for a further twelve beautiful hours and has since taught me many things I value most about life; to love, to be brave and to never give up on hope.

I spent a total of three months on the neonatal unit. Nothing could have prepared me for that time, as it is a life like no other. No one can walk in the shoes of a mother of a premature baby unless they have been there themselves. It takes an unbelievable amount of strength to keep going, to put a smile on your face and to not crumble at every hurdle, whether that is seeing your baby in an incubator with all the wires and breathing equipment; being able to talk to your baby; listening to how they are doing on ward round; waiting out the unbearable, nerve wracking amount of time for test results or leaving your baby with a nurse you have never met before, at the end of the day. Anoxia meaning in hindi the list is full of endless fears but somehow, from goodness knows where, probably the mother in you, you are there for your baby every step of the way.

During the times I have revisited the neonatal unit, I am in awe of you mothers in there. I see you and I see myself, two years ago. You are busy doing your routine to get you through the day, sterilising feeding equipment, comfort holding, having skin to skin time, feeding, sorting and folding clothes or chatting to other mums or nurses. You are all smiling that smile.

That smile, is what I want to talk about. Social anxiety meaning in hindi the smile of a mother of a premature baby is one of love and hope. That smile, the brave face, shows not only the world but is evidence, that you are hanging on in there. It shows that you are putting one foot in front of the other and doing everything you can to cling onto hope and believe that everything is ok.

If you need to have that cry; some time to hide in the toilets or escape from the room to the nearest place where no one can see you; to have a moment of letting your guard down and realising your fears, then that is ok. Whatever is behind those tears, it will be better if it comes out, whether that is just to yourself, your partner, a nurse or a pen and paper. Try not to fight with yourself; be kind and believe in yourself. Understand that you are doing a bloody amazing job, even just getting up in the morning is a great triumph. If you feel you are not coping or having a bad day or a tough moment, try and find the courage to talk to someone. From my experience, a neonatal nurse who you get on well with and trust, is a great place to start and they provide a very good shoulder to have a cry on.

• if you are not sure whether to share the news of your arrival(s) on social media go with your heart. We did when charlotte and esme were about a week old because it was what it was. Brain anoxia prognosis I was no longer pregnant and the girls had arrived. Yes I was extremely nervous about what others thought of them, their size, the amount of wires attached, their breathing equipment etc. But the support we received from our family and friends far outweighed any of these anxieties. We were very proud but scared parents before and after doing so.

• once charlotte and I escaped out of the neonatal unit and we were no longer living by the day, painful memories of the neonatal unit and the grief of losing esme started to catch up on me. After three months of home life, I made the hardest yet best phone call I have made, and self referred myself for counselling. Remember, there is always help out there.