Three years today nanoxia deep silence 4

What I found was that putting the drink down and saying ‘I’m done…’ was the easy part. What came after, trying to live a life without it, turned out to be one of the hardest achievements I could attain. Four lapses/slips later I can proudly say that alcohol has not crossed my lips in over 18 months.

If I believed the old thinking that every time I had a drink I was a failure and had to start over, then yes, that would be the case. anxiety meaning in hindi But I’ve learned, through SMART Recovery, that this is defeatist type thinking, and that it is more important to learn from those lapses. Each of those experiences taught me that using alcohol to deal with difficult things in life, or to enhance experiences, doesn’t do either of those things.

Life is so much purer and enjoyable without it, and that facing issues actually resolves them, instead of hiding from my emotions, I could face them.

I still have difficulty at times. For 30 years i, figuratively, put everything into a bottle or chemically altered my brain to feel good about my life. Managing emotions without substances is hard if you’ve never really tried. nanoxia deep silence 6 white Dealing with difficult memories and events from the past that are still there and must be faced and challenged, must be laid to rest so one can move forward.

I think that was my biggest achievement in this past year… Forgiveness. hypoxic brain injury treatment in india While i forgave myself for what I had done in the past in the earlier stages, this year it was about forgiving others. It was enlightening to come to understand why people do the things they do, to discover that there are reasons behind others’ behaviour. There could be trauma in their own past, or improper or unaware teaching of inappropriate ways of thinking and behavior. I forgave those most important and most deserving of it. I accepted that, while they may be at fault, because our behaviors are choices we make, they are not to blame.

I think that I can effectively say that I’m out of recovery at this point. Knowing that I’ve stood in front of rows of liquor bottles with cash in hand, or that I’ve had a weekend to myself at home with alcohol in the house, and said ‘nah, I’m good’ assures me that that chapter is done. anxiety attack symptoms I can move forward, knowing that I can handle the difficulties to come.

As I sit here listening to Pink Floyd the Wall, I rediscover the album as not just a story/movie that I used to get all ****** up to enjoy, but, ironically, one of the truest representations of the cycle of addiction and recovery. Past trauma, using substances to deal with difficulties in life, building up that wall higher and higher to hide, and the eventual collapse under the weight of it all.

I enjoyed reading your post what was most relevant for me was how you viewed lapses and you are right, I feel; it is not failure and oh no, I’ve blown it now’, they are what they are lapses. When, which I have, in the past have viewed them negatively, it has been an exscuse in a way, oh well, there you go, blown it now…… where as in fact, even if I had picked up a bottle of wine each night for a weekend, which I did and I could have said, ok, but enough now, you know where this is going. anoxia cerebral palsy I didn’t and let it creep back in slowly of course, but creep and sneak it did…… even did the, perhaps I can just drink wine at the weekends and did for a while….. anyway I am sure you are well aware of these scenarios. I also was interested in your forgiving thoughts! I have done the opposite, my entire life I have forgiven, empathised, understood and worked around things and it is only now, as I am about to turn 50 that I have stopped forgiving and walked away from maay people; I wish then no harm nor do I hate them, but I don’t forgive them and at the same time I take responsibility for the fact, I could have done this decades ago and chose not to, to to be the’better person’ and in my personal case I was wrong. It’s very wonderful to read about your three years of sobriety