Test results anoxia refers to

I’ve had many tests done over the last 5 years. Echocardiograms, mras, ultrasounds of my calves, many blood draws, pulmonary function tests, x rays, skin checks, biopsy tests, ultrasound of my breast to check a lump, many, many, many ultrasounds of our 4 babies. Not to mention the tests done on my children once they arrived. In the first few weeks of his life, david had to see a cardiologist, ophthalmologist, audiologist, just to name a few. Never once have I had a technician take this long to come out of a room and tell me we would be on our way.

The thoughts are all over the place- like eggs being scrambled. I try to talk to myself instead of listen to myself. I began quoting scriptures- psalm 23, romans 8:28. I pray for peace, wisdom, strength.

With tears beginning to collect in my eyes, getting full to the brim, I beg and plead the lord that he will let me see my boys grow old. I know to live is christ and die is gain. I know that it will truly be better to be in his presence, but OH how I love my boys. Anoxia villosa larva I beg god to let me be their mother on this earth until they grow old.

As a high school student, I could not wait until the teacher returned the tests (those were before the days when she entered in grades and you could check them on your computer). He or she would walk down the aisle handing our tests back, and the nerd and over achiever that I was, I would be so relieved to see an A (my goal was to make an average of 98 or above in all of my classes- I had some pretty big perfectionist and performance issues that god has freed me from and is still freeing me from). I would see that test, and it would bring emotions of joy, thankfulness, relief, gratitude, pride. The results were in, and I was pleased.

And then more tests and more tests- through out each of my pregnancies testing brought fear- what once was a place of relief for me became a place of anxiety. With caleb, we had to do many extra tests because I had a fever every day of my first trimester and had been diagnosed with an unidentified virus. The anatomy scan revealed a white mark on his stomach or liver- they thought possibly cystic fibrosis. More tests. My doctor dropped my case when I was 30 weeks old because I refused to get tested for marfan’s syndrome. I won’t go into his long birth story here, but there were many medical interventions there as well- and every time they “checked” me I felt like it was a test, another opportunity to fail. With david, I had a hematoma and we had to watch that carefully. Anxiety test free with ethan I had something called low PAPP-A so I had to get nsts and growth scans weekly for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy. So. MANY. Nanoxia deep silence 120mm pwm ultra quiet pc fan TESTS. I then had to be re-admitted to the hospital after his birth due to post-partum preeclampsia (and stayed there over christmas). To this day, taking my blood pressure brings a little bit of post traumatic stress as I sit trying to calmly imagine myself on a beach somewhere while praying I have a normal reading. To say the least, I’ve had a lot of undesired results in the medical field over the past few years.

The truth is we are helpless. I think the enemy and our own pride and self reliance often mask our eyes to this fact. Hearing that a child is sick, or a parent has passed away, or that we lost something we hold so dear, brings us to a place of rawness and realness like nothing else. The mask is removed. The illusion is gone and for just an instant, we get a glimpse of things as they really are. We are just one of billions on this planet we called earth, one of many planets in our solar system, which is really small compared to other things in space. God is outside of all of that. He is infinite. He has no limits. He is not bounded by anything. This god – this creator is the one to whom we pray. This all powerful, mighty lord, is also our personal master, savior and friend. He is in control. Anxiety disorder treatment he is sovereign. He rules over all. He is calling out to you.

And maybe, if we think about the fact that they are indeed finite, it may help us determine how to spend them. The truth is generations come and generations go. Most of us don’t know the name of our great-great grandfather, and that is someone in our own family! How do we make an impact? Reverse engineer our life? Do we want to hear well done good and faithful servant?

Do I want to make much of me or much of him? As paul david tripp says, “there is a constant war for my glory or god’s glory”- may I lay my life down and point upwards to him. Anxiety attack what it feels like the reality is death is certain. Just because we think we are young or healthy, or fill in the blank, it does not mean that we have years and years left on this earth. When I was a senior in high school, 6 students passed away that went to our school. It was incredibly sobering. I’m sure many of you can think of beautiful people that died unfairly, way way too soon.

While my test results brought me great relief this time, I know many who do not have this same story. I claim to know nothing of true suffering. I can only pray that if my worst fears do come true, god would hold me still, and that he would provide faith for the impossible situations it hurts my heart to imagine. I know it’s easy to say “have faith” when that faith hasn’t been truly tested, and I am in no way belittling those who have endured incredible amounts of suffering. There are some situations that we just do not know how we will respond until we come face to face with them.