Misdoings of a miscarriage. life and its unique beauty hypoxic anoxic brain injury recovery

There’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, something that happened to me a while ago, something I’m pretty sure I wrote about to try and get off my chest. But seeing as I can’t get it out of my head all this time later, maybe I can word it better now and give myself some peace of mind- and maybe help someone else know they’re not alone.

So, despite how mushy I sound on here, not a lot in this world really bothers me, I have a horrid sense of humor, make way to many inappropriate jokes etc etc. One of the few things that I cannot stand being joked about though, is miscarriages. Even before it happened to me, I’ve never let anyone joke about it in my hearing. Unless you’ve experienced it, you’ll never truly understand, so, that’s what I want to try and explain.

First; we have to start at the beginning, where all the stories start. But, it doesn’t start with it happening like most people think, it starts with finding out your pregnant. nanoxia deep silence 3 test It starts in the mindset of a woman having a thousand emotions, and in no particular order, here are some of them.

All of this in about a 5 second span of finding out you’re pregnant. So needless to say it’s a bit overwhelming. But after a while, after it all settles in, you start to think about what it’s gong to be like. Feeling the baby growing, waiting in avid anticipation for the day when you can feel them start to move around inside you. Thinking about what kind of food or music or voices will make them move around as they grow. Laying in bed in the middle of the night, resting your hands on your tummy where the baby is, thinking about what they’ll look like. What will they sound like? What will they feel like when you can finally hold them? Holding them and thinking about how small they are- how could you make something so small and so perfect? Smiling and laughing until you cry when you can hold them and they open their little baby eyes and smile at you. severe anxiety attack in dogs Wondering how you thought you ever knew what love was before they were born. When you hold them and they stop crying because they just know that you’re their mom and you’ll protect them, how could you not? They lived inside you for 9 long months.

But… then the most horrible thing happens. Something you never imagined would happen. The cramps start, maybe you can feel them, maybe you just don’t even realize it’s happening. The blood, then you know something is wrong. Scared. So scared and panicking and knowing there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Everyone knows what happens physically, so I’ll just leave it there, and continue.

After, after everything is done and you’re at home, sitting and looking off into space, this hallow and empty feeling inside, you start to think about whats wrong with you. anxious meaning in gujarati Why couldn’t you keep the baby safe, keep it growing. Why am I broken inside, what’s wrong with me, what did I do to deserve this? It just keeps going, and going, and going around in your head like a carousel. The thoughts get worse, more damaging the longer it goes on.

The worst part for me, wasn’t those thoughts, not really, even though they were horrible. It was the fact that I couldn’t stop myself thinking that it wasn’t real, that it didn’t happen. It took a while for it to really sink in. Once you get your mind wrapped around it, it doesn’t get less painful, but you start to accept it. This is where most people stop, where most people think it ends, but it’s not.

It’s seeing little bits of what your baby would have looked like when you see someone else playing with theirs. Falling in love with a baby a split second after meeting them. Something as simple as seeing cute baby clothes or a toy and wishing you could give it to yours, or dress them in the little t-shirt with the cheesy saying on it. When you’re hanging around with a friend and their child and wanting nothing more than to hold them for hours because you can’t hold yours. Having all of this love in your heart and nothing to do with it.

When people who don’t know what you’ve gone through make jokes about you having “baby fever” or being “baby crazy”. You think you want to tell them that it’s not that you have baby fever because you want one, you have baby fever because you almost had one. But you don’t because they won’t understand- not really.

People think you get over it, but it’s been over a year for me, and I still can’t forget it. anoxic encephalopathy treatment If you can make it through life without it happening, or happening to your partner, that would be the best thing ever. Trying to explain to your partner how you feel, it’s hard. It’s even harder if you have to go through it by yourself… Like I did. I didn’t want to tell anyone, I felt ashamed. But there is nothing to be ashamed of.

There aren’t enough words to accurately describe what happens in the brain of a woman who has lost a baby. To much muddled up, getting lost in translation, but I hope I could help someone understand how painful it is. It doesn’t matter if a miscarriage happens at 6 weeks, 8, or 16. It’s one of the most emotionally painful things I’ve ever been through.