February 2016 borncrazy diffuse anoxic brain injury

So my friend today posted an amazingly brave blog that diffuse anoxic brain injury has left a few people who can read between the diffuse anoxic brain injury lines a lot wiser about her life and others very diffuse anoxic brain injury confused and wondering what it was exactly that they read diffuse anoxic brain injury about. Everyone however knew it was something big, something traumatic that had been written about and we all diffuse anoxic brain injury knew it took a HELL of a lot of guts diffuse anoxic brain injury to put it out there.

It’s kinda why im back on here. Not only because said person told me to keep writing diffuse anoxic brain injury but because i suppose i felt guilty. The reason i haven’t written since the day before my CMHT appointment is diffuse anoxic brain injury that iv been avoiding it. Avoiding telling you that im now on anti-psychotic medicine.


That the psychiatrist looked at me and spoke to me diffuse anoxic brain injury as if i might break in to a thousand tiny diffuse anoxic brain injury fragments at any second, but that ii could equally grab his computer cord and diffuse anoxic brain injury strangle him in a flurry of rage. Neither was true. I wasn’t quite there but be assured i could tell i diffuse anoxic brain injury wasn’t far. So after what seemed like both the longest and the diffuse anoxic brain injury shortest half and hour of my life, i was prescribed quetiapine. That now means i take venlafaxine and quetiapine consecutively both diffuse anoxic brain injury day and night. I went in to my appointment having done my research diffuse anoxic brain injury and pretty much resigned to the fact i would leave diffuse anoxic brain injury with a mood stabilizer but hadn’t entertained the idea of anti psychotics. Almost not wanting to believe i had reached that level diffuse anoxic brain injury of “crazy.”

I’m not sure how i feel about quetiaine. I am currently loving the mood stabilizing qualities of the diffuse anoxic brain injury drug and i suppose it has stared to take away diffuse anoxic brain injury the paranoia and delusions but its the long term effects diffuse anoxic brain injury i worry about. The weight gain, the side effects im yet to see until i increase diffuse anoxic brain injury my dose in just over a weeks time, the very real possibility that i may never get off diffuse anoxic brain injury them and this might be it for life or the diffuse anoxic brain injury terrible withdrawal if its not.

On top of this i have had to beg my diffuse anoxic brain injury dad for a loan as i have zero money. Last moth due to my erratic mental state my fiance diffuse anoxic brain injury couldn’t do many shifts at work and so has been diffuse anoxic brain injury paid pennies by the time you take of things like diffuse anoxic brain injury gas bills and electric. I was also given no shifts last moth or the diffuse anoxic brain injury month before, even though i asked for some, because i had pulled out of an earlier shift due diffuse anoxic brain injury to how suicidal i was. So on top of these new meds we also have diffuse anoxic brain injury really bad money troubles this month. I’m also not entirely sure i even WANT this degree diffuse anoxic brain injury anymore, but im so far in and so close to the diffuse anoxic brain injury finishing line it would seem stupid to pull out now. So i will keep struggling though. Hoping to catch a break somewhere along the line.

Its been 6 or 7 weeks since my last CMHT diffuse anoxic brain injury appointment and i have my next one tomorrow at 10 diffuse anoxic brain injury am. My psychiatrist who i really liked has actually left so diffuse anoxic brain injury its like im starting from scratch again but that’s a whole other blog post. This post is actually about me reflecting on my last diffuse anoxic brain injury appointment, specifically the diagnosis they gave me, borderline personality disorder.

You may have severe mood swings over a short space diffuse anoxic brain injury of time. It’s common for people with BPD to feel suicidal with diffuse anoxic brain injury despair, and then feel reasonably positive a few hours later. Some people feel better in the morning and some in diffuse anoxic brain injury the evening. The pattern varies, but the key sign is that your moods swing in diffuse anoxic brain injury unpredictable ways.– see for me this doesn’t fit. Sometimes maybe. My mood switches rapidly during the day but the lows diffuse anoxic brain injury then tend to last for hours, days or weeks and the highs for hours or days. This is why im unsure of this. They can be raid but i dunno. Disturbed patterns of thinking

• brief episodes of strange experiences – such as hearing voices outside your head for minutes at diffuse anoxic brain injury a time. These may often feel like instructions to harm yourself or diffuse anoxic brain injury others. You may or may not be certain whether these are diffuse anoxic brain injury real -this one is more recent for me. I feel like sometimes there’s a voice in my head, it sounds like me but another part of me maybe. Like one rational part of m says to stay where diffuse anoxic brain injury i am and concentrate on the task at hand and diffuse anoxic brain injury another is arguing saying but you could go and hurt diffuse anoxic brain injury yourself. You need to do it.

• prolonged episodes of abnormal experiences – where you might experience both hallucinations (voices outside your head) or distressing beliefs that no one can talk you out diffuse anoxic brain injury of (such as believing your family are secretly trying to kill diffuse anoxic brain injury you). These types of beliefs may be psychotic (delusions), and a sign you are becoming more unwell; it is important to get help if you are struggling diffuse anoxic brain injury with delusions – ok so this is a big big one for me. I believe people are watching me and out to get diffuse anoxic brain injury me. Everyone is teaming up and working together. Its getting harder to ignore it now. Like they are getting stronger. Harder to fight and distinguish from reality.

• a strong impulse to engage in reckless and irresponsible activities diffuse anoxic brain injury – such as binge drinking, drug abuse, going on a spending or gambling spree, or having unprotected sex with strangers; impulsive behaviours are especially dangerous when people are in brief diffuse anoxic brain injury psychotic states, because they may be more likely to act impulsively if diffuse anoxic brain injury their judgement is impaired – binge drinking yes, sending spree yes always. They are getting stronger.

For many people with BPD, emotional relationships (including relationships with professional carers) involve “go away!/please don’t go” states of mind, which is confusing for them and their partners. Sadly, this can often lead to break-ups. – yer this is me with my fiance, at one moment im like omg i love you lets diffuse anoxic brain injury have sex now! Then two seconds later im like OMG DON’T BREATH ON ME!

What do you do when everyone who was on your diffuse anoxic brain injury side starts to pull away? Those who offered their support suddenly take it away. They say to plan on them but then they find diffuse anoxic brain injury they aren’t strong enough. Suddenly your being pushed away. Told you cant lean there anymore. They could deal with one thing but not another. Suddenly you have no support network left. And you feel bad because you need them so much, need to tell them you cant do it alone, but that’s what they were talking about, they cant help you anymore. You’d be selfish to ask. You are starting to ruin their life and everything is diffuse anoxic brain injury better when your not there.

This paranoid, angry, manic girl. The ones who’s thoughts race and who notices every little detail of diffuse anoxic brain injury every single space she walks in to. The one who can hear when you whisper about her. Can feel that your staring. This isn’t depression. This is new. This scares me. I can no the housemate who doesn’t like me is trying to get everyone on his diffuse anoxic brain injury side. I know they talk and whisper. They tread on egg shells. Am i crazy? Im not sure anymore.

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