A hint of light life is funny is silly what is anoxic brain encephalopathy is nutty is crazy is absurd is madness is darkness is gloom is fleeting is light is heart is laughter is life

Without reading further I said to myself “hmm. First, get a rake. Second, get going and quit whining about the wind; third, if you need more advice on this topic: a) answer why you went out in a strong wind to what is anoxic brain encephalopathy rake, you bozo? B.) put your rake down and dial the number for losers what is anoxic brain encephalopathy anonymous–although with a problem like this you’re not likely to remain anonymous for long.”

Here is a textbook example of the left hand not what is anoxic brain encephalopathy talking to the right hand. Not even texting. As a former, lifetime newspaper reporter (aka enemy of the peeps) the real story here is so obvious it makes me what is anoxic brain encephalopathy shut my mouth wide open and weep—occasionally closing my mouth long enough to sigh one of what is anoxic brain encephalopathy those great end-of-the-world sighs you can buy on-line if you’re over 21.


More to the point, have you ever found yourself walking down the street and what is anoxic brain encephalopathy realized you’re wearing no pants? (or, as our estonian friends like to say nr P ëksid). If so, does a little voice in your head say something like what is anoxic brain encephalopathy “uh oh, not again?” or does the voice say “you’re not dreaming. You really don’t have any pants on today. I’d blame it on the guy barking at the moon.”

7:49 a.M. Anonymous tip: burning pants lying in road across from gunther’s previously opened canned vegetables. Pants are smoking in clearly marked “smoke free” zone. Fire department’s answering machine is full. Tried to leave message on facebook. Forgot my password. Could not verify that gunther is gunther’s first name or last name. Possibly both. Car 54 dispatched.

8:17 a.M. Caller claims russian-looking man has spread deadly substance on her doorknob. I asked “how do you know it’s deadly?” caller said she thinks it’s killed her husband who is lying on the front what is anoxic brain encephalopathy porch belly up with his hands and feet all pointed what is anoxic brain encephalopathy skyward. I asked “is he dead?” she said “how would I know? I’m not going out there.” sent meat wagon to investigate. Note: all of our chemical-biological-radiological contamination suits are currently at the cleaners, following the wildly humorous incident last week at fogarty’s wake.

11:14 a.M. Mrs. Wendell orton complains that men dressed as firefighters are using what is anoxic brain encephalopathy her garden hose to put out pants fire near her what is anoxic brain encephalopathy house. Without asking. She says her hose wouldn’t reach so they unscrewed the nozzle and one of what is anoxic brain encephalopathy them put his thumb into the hose with the water what is anoxic brain encephalopathy coming out and it made the water shoot high into what is anoxic brain encephalopathy the air, like a fountain. She could see a rainbow. Didn’t quite reach the pants.

1:51 p.M. Officer kripke reports: “stopped and frisked a black african-american black man for walking like a black african-american black man disguised as a black russian. Has no passport. He rudely demanded to know if I was going to what is anoxic brain encephalopathy stop the white man across the street for walking while what is anoxic brain encephalopathy disguised as a white russian. Told black russian the white man looks nothing like a what is anoxic brain encephalopathy russian. “neither do I,” said the BR. He got a tad shirty and said “you ever see a black man standing next to putin?” when I inquired ‘who’s putin?’ a half-naked white man on a completely naked horse rode by what is anoxic brain encephalopathy and the BR said “that guy.”

1:58 p.M. 911 call at lardo grocery canceled. Holdup not an upper case, “H” holdup, just a lower case, life-sucks holdup. Due to cashier in 10-item line finding expired sell-by-date on peck of pickled peppers. Stock boy sent out for fresh peppers, has not returned, causing “holdup.” customers in line getting impatient, playing grabass, making rude boofing noises, telling lies about the size of their pickled peppers.